4 posts from May 2008

today
today i got exam.
hehe final exam ok
i almost tak pegi exam pagi td coz i was so freaked out gile cuz havent managed to finish all the silibus coz --as usual-- i fell asleep. like hundreds times last nite!!! gile ah
tau2 je pagi td stil got like 7/10 of the book to be read in 1 and half hour. who wudnt freakout rite? so i called K.I who's kinda hustler oredi in taking the special exams. hahaha. i called her, asking kene bayar ke tak if take the special xm bla3. so she said takyah if u provide an excusable letter la kan. hm. then i mengadu at my bro T and somehow papa overheard us, and heck, evrybody start pushing me to GO TO THE EXAM OLREDI AND DONT NGADE2 nak BACKoff. ciss.. papa said for me to recite yasin supaye tenang sket. i was like -- wat? mane sempat?! buku ni tebal lg nak kene abeskan lagi kene bace yasin plak.! huhu with muke degil gile me.
last2 i went into my room, amik wudhu', bace yasin, and continue bace buku. huhuuh
so alhamdulillah lah kan..mayb cuz bace yasin the question was TOUGH. god it was!!. but yea i managed to hentam keromo bla2 here and there. haha hopefully i pass la. hahaha i mean, being a loser u cannot ask for more than wat u effort for rite. haha

so finished exam, went home, sidai kain. then masuk bilik, saw my fren Z calling. apparently he's at s'wangsa (which he mistaken as wangsa maju. bongs. wangsa maju atas lagi a dol) . he was so hungry (me effing too) and since he's around the area, asked me to teman him makan. so i went lepak2 with Z. as usual, i pointed at this girl kat kedai tuh 'yg pompuan yg isap rokok kat dlm uh lawo' so he went 'yg ade shades atas kepale tuh?' 'uh huh' 'ha ah lawa gak. tp ko lagi lawa. lawa hatinye. kat sini antara ramai2 org ni ko paling baik hati' *rolled my eyes* 'loh. mane ko tau, ko tak kenal pun diorang lagi. ntah2 diorang lg baik' 'hehe ko bagus kan, sangke baik je kat org' *rolled my eyes*

i mean, wudnt evrybody say the same thing as i did? haha.
well, i do believe that evryone has their own side of story. well, mayb stories. so its up to them to show their own side of story or just keep it to themselves and its up to us to be judgmental or..  well ignorance is (sometimes) bliss.

but tadi Z gempak jugak. his berani lain mcm sket. when the girl went out to take something kat mane tah, Z went after her and balik meja dah dpt nombo fon beb! haha. gempak kan.

tuh la.. as in my prev post, if u wanna play the game of love, u gotta have THE courage. ala senang la ckp kalu laki. cube kalo pompuan. amik kau . tade maknenye nak pi kejar2 orang ensem mintak nombo fon! hahaha

well. on my own side of story (i do have one of course), like to tgk2 org ensem is one thing, but to know them personally and well if u like many2 things about them, is another level. deeeeper. setakat muke ensem tp tin kosong bakpa ek. haha poyo. like me not kosong ja kan. my point is, to actually fall for a person kene la kenal die dulu. i think evrybody pun sume same ja. if u fell for his own self, then u'd actually overlook his goodlooks/notreallygoodlooks. just the sight of him/her wud melt ur heart already :) (almost forgot how nice it feels. ehe talkabout falling in luv) haha tu yg slalu kite nampak org ni punye la cun, satgi  the man beside her... ampeh. haha. thats wat i mean.

---out of topic----

it really hurts awfully bad when sumone ignores u kan T___T

---back to post---

ehm. isnt this blog getting more mushy & dragging each day? hahaii sengal la

tu la.. i m currently chatting with this old skool fren of mine. T.  last time we chatted was like.. wheww..really quite sometime. i think like some 8 years back kot. haha. the thing is, last time i chatted with T . it wasnt really comfortable la then A came to the rescue (not literally,) like virtually, like A was suddenly on;ine and the whole time chatting wit A was like consolation prize. like compensating the chatting moment i had with T. hehe. so.. yeah, like the above tajuk, revisit to the memory lane. and yeah. again? like duh. rite. hehe

im so effing worried rite now. but being such a sore loser i am, i dont do anything.  ni sume pasal keje la nih.. huhu

hey, dun u think its scary?
the fact that ppl are all moving forward... while im here stuck in reverse.
takuuttt nyee....
wat if i;ll be like wat i am rite now in a loOng time.
or the worst, forever. aaaa takut!!!

u know wat, sometimes i wish i cud be more like the latest novel from sophie kinsella. the girl suddenly woke up of a comma, and only to found out later that her life is actually almost perfect lah kan, she olredi got a husband, and a stable job. wooh. bes kan? tak payah pening2.

ya of course apparently dlm cite uh die ilang ingatan..like 2 years of her life die lupe..hm.

spiking of being scared.

lotsa things im very scared rite now.

to name a few,
on the emotional side..
im scared of the fact that falling in luv will hurt me
im scared if i again, fall for the wrong guy
im scared if i kawen lambat :s
im scared if i end up being alone.
im scared if i happen to like a guy, he doesnt feel the same way i do towards him.

hm.
hey do u think i ever hv any single thing that wud make a guy likes me?
hahahahahha gile pathetic punye question kannnnnnnn?!!! blergh :p
well MAYBE la i think i hv 1 or 2 reasons for a guy to like me.. but wud that suffice?
will it be the same reason we'll be staying in luv?
or wud it only be the reason we'll be parting in the future?

tu la. isnt it petrifying?
i think being in luv is more like gambling.
whether u re in pure luck,
or u are capable of playing ur cards right.
the thing u need is courage. oh  and oso confidence
yes. of all things, these 2 i am very lacking of.

story of my life :)

MEMILIKI KEHILANGAN
- Letto

the lyrics so jiwang all right. but so true. T_T
oh ok, so now this is a pathetic sad all mourn kinda blog
lantak la ye. haha

nway found the lyrics from err i believe its my long distance cousin's blog.

Letto - memiliki kehilangan

wud suffice as the first entry for my mr. blog #2. u see i hv mr.blog#1 and now, talkabout infidelity, here comes mr.blog#2 :p

yes, its me ranting, blabbing without any certain specific purpose watsoever.

i just feel like wanting to have another blog where ppl wudnt read and if they do, well.. i dunno. shud i feel embarassed then? bcos of wat? of my stupidity? or of my shallow-minded ness? (is there such a word anyway?)
of course i should. but watdaheck, here i hide my true self, and i stress on my anonymity.

but

it feels weird. like truly:
i really dont understand human. me, specifically.
a part of me wants to hv a new blog where i can blab all i want, another small part of me wants it to be read by my regular readers (i can say i do hv some tau, jgn memain) at my mr.blog#1.

ok so watever.

as far as im concern this blog will be personal. like rreeaally personal.

so here's how personal this blog can be: u see when u enter into my personal world, u hv to know there's always Mr.A, who's heart been crushed by my .. well i wont say stupidity, but rather ignorance? or is it insensitive? hm or mayb just plain stupidity. ketidaktahuan. kealpaan? u decide. wait. is there any 'u' ? hehe watever.

then this Mr.A story has been history like since FOREVER. yes. THAT long ago. i shudnt be bothered like the way i stil do rite now. but then again there's no interesting story bout Mr.A anymore. but just to let u know, that there's always a part of this blog where all things wud go back to Mr.A. hm.

that aside.

i think i'd like to share my ideas here.
of love, of life.
not that i know many of , but stil, its always nice to write something u thought u know about and after 2-3 years later only to find out that twas so .. little, or.. . hm ape2lah.

the idea is, mayb if i think sum of my selebet ideas/writings ni mcm ok jek, i'll bring it up kat my mr.blog#1.
ish panjang la name blog2 aku ni. so shotform je la from now on k. MB1(mr.blog#1), MB2(Mr.Blog#2).

there goes
my 1st entry.
hihi
will write sum more later :)