Daughtry - What about now

Shadows fill an empty heart
As love is fading,
From all the things that we are
But are not saying.
Can we see beyond the scars
And make it to the dawn?

Change the colors of the sky.
And open up to
The ways you made me feel alive,
The ways I loved you.
For all the things that never died,
To make it through the night,
Love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

The sun is breaking in your eyes
To start a new day.
This broken heart can still survive
With a touch of your grace.
Shadows fade into the light.
I am by your side,
Where love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love, it never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

Now that we're here,
Now that we've come this far,
Just hold on.
There is nothing to fear,
For I am right beside you.
For all my life,
I am yours.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
Baby, before it's too late,

this song is verryy nice. luv evry bits of it! and the video is GOOooD! remind us of the world around today.. its good to know that they oso care...

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hi its been a while. and ive been wanting to blog here since almost forever but cudnt find time. haha like very2 unbelievable kan, jobless cudnt find some small time. haha

anyways nothing has changed. im stil here wandering around and about.

well. thats not wat i want to jot here neway.

i believe most ppl have their own dreams. how bout mine? i tell u aa..im not a person who constantly dreaming about something let alone to believe in that dream if they re in sucha way cud become reality. i'm more of person who wud more often than not, go with the flow. but due to constant pondering or worrying in nothingness.. i've been formulating visualizing and in the end forming a list of wat my dreams are. like the things that i wud want the most in life.

1- go & stay abroad (for at least 1 yr pun jadi la...!!) -well since im allowed to specify my dream, it wud be in the UK (no matter how cliche i may sound ;p) i donno oso why UK. just thot tht its a nice(harmony) country and its cold.. haha.

2- marry someone i Laaffvv (blergh ;p rite?) - i dun care who he is as long as i think i laf him as much that i wud in no hesitation marry him. uhuhuh

3- get a cool job. i think when i say cool, it wud refer to a job that i enjoy plus a good pay.plus a good environment, like good ofismates, boss, etc-that makes me looking fwd to go to evryday

4- i wud someday able to make my parents truly proud of me for watever i become in the future.

i think those are the vital / fundamental dreams i truly madly deeply want in my life.

i do believe that life wont always turn as u wish. but watdahell..im telling myself now that : as long as i hv dreams, i hv something to strive for, ive something to look fwd to, and when they do(who knows like mayyyybe) eventually come true, i can smile to the mirror and said -now what u wanthv come true. that, i guess, wud b my bestest moment :)))

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hope ure listening.
forgive me if im young
for speaking out of turn

-----------------------------------------

ever wonder how someone just got lucky one day and got lucky the next day and even  more luckier the next couple of days.
and   then, how bout this
someone who's from rich family-like super-rich- n becos of his/her richness, attending a rich school, n having rich friends, and eventually, working in the rich class, and of course in the end, become rich.

maybe thats how life goes for them. its like their chain of life.
but it cant be called as life circle. cuz if its a circle, then it wud hv the up-and-down moments. my examples above, dont seem to have the downside. i mean, if they do, it'll only be like brokenheart,leftbybf/gf, - all the cliche yet a must hv experience for EVERYbody- so it wsnt really the cruelty of the real world.

anyway, hm wat im trying to say here eh?

oh yeah. so where's the fairness in that. i mean, do some ppl really dont hv to go thru so much trouble when some other ppl, like fall and stumble at evry set of life? but then again, who ever said that this life is fair, rite. the idealist may hv the option to think so,and  for some reason, i think im an idealist, and that brought me into questioning all this stupid Qs. haha

so mayb for the group of  ppl who doesnt have the privileges of living all class A type of living - like me- we , i, hv to always struggle. yea i've heard somewhere that life is all about struggling. when we done struggling, thats when our time comes.yeap, its time to go, ppl. and there, in the hereafter, only then our efforts, our strugglings will be judged by Allah the almighty. and mayb thats where, our life circles move up to the hopeful upside   moments. (crap, forgv my bad bad bad english)

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today
today i got exam.
hehe final exam ok
i almost tak pegi exam pagi td coz i was so freaked out gile cuz havent managed to finish all the silibus coz --as usual-- i fell asleep. like hundreds times last nite!!! gile ah
tau2 je pagi td stil got like 7/10 of the book to be read in 1 and half hour. who wudnt freakout rite? so i called K.I who's kinda hustler oredi in taking the special exams. hahaha. i called her, asking kene bayar ke tak if take the special xm bla3. so she said takyah if u provide an excusable letter la kan. hm. then i mengadu at my bro T and somehow papa overheard us, and heck, evrybody start pushing me to GO TO THE EXAM OLREDI AND DONT NGADE2 nak BACKoff. ciss.. papa said for me to recite yasin supaye tenang sket. i was like -- wat? mane sempat?! buku ni tebal lg nak kene abeskan lagi kene bace yasin plak.! huhu with muke degil gile me.
last2 i went into my room, amik wudhu', bace yasin, and continue bace buku. huhuuh
so alhamdulillah lah kan..mayb cuz bace yasin the question was TOUGH. god it was!!. but yea i managed to hentam keromo bla2 here and there. haha hopefully i pass la. hahaha i mean, being a loser u cannot ask for more than wat u effort for rite. haha

so finished exam, went home, sidai kain. then masuk bilik, saw my fren Z calling. apparently he's at s'wangsa (which he mistaken as wangsa maju. bongs. wangsa maju atas lagi a dol) . he was so hungry (me effing too) and since he's around the area, asked me to teman him makan. so i went lepak2 with Z. as usual, i pointed at this girl kat kedai tuh 'yg pompuan yg isap rokok kat dlm uh lawo' so he went 'yg ade shades atas kepale tuh?' 'uh huh' 'ha ah lawa gak. tp ko lagi lawa. lawa hatinye. kat sini antara ramai2 org ni ko paling baik hati' *rolled my eyes* 'loh. mane ko tau, ko tak kenal pun diorang lagi. ntah2 diorang lg baik' 'hehe ko bagus kan, sangke baik je kat org' *rolled my eyes*

i mean, wudnt evrybody say the same thing as i did? haha.
well, i do believe that evryone has their own side of story. well, mayb stories. so its up to them to show their own side of story or just keep it to themselves and its up to us to be judgmental or..  well ignorance is (sometimes) bliss.

but tadi Z gempak jugak. his berani lain mcm sket. when the girl went out to take something kat mane tah, Z went after her and balik meja dah dpt nombo fon beb! haha. gempak kan.

tuh la.. as in my prev post, if u wanna play the game of love, u gotta have THE courage. ala senang la ckp kalu laki. cube kalo pompuan. amik kau . tade maknenye nak pi kejar2 orang ensem mintak nombo fon! hahaha

well. on my own side of story (i do have one of course), like to tgk2 org ensem is one thing, but to know them personally and well if u like many2 things about them, is another level. deeeeper. setakat muke ensem tp tin kosong bakpa ek. haha poyo. like me not kosong ja kan. my point is, to actually fall for a person kene la kenal die dulu. i think evrybody pun sume same ja. if u fell for his own self, then u'd actually overlook his goodlooks/notreallygoodlooks. just the sight of him/her wud melt ur heart already :) (almost forgot how nice it feels. ehe talkabout falling in luv) haha tu yg slalu kite nampak org ni punye la cun, satgi  the man beside her... ampeh. haha. thats wat i mean.

---out of topic----

it really hurts awfully bad when sumone ignores u kan T___T

---back to post---

ehm. isnt this blog getting more mushy & dragging each day? hahaii sengal la

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tu la.. i m currently chatting with this old skool fren of mine. T.  last time we chatted was like.. wheww..really quite sometime. i think like some 8 years back kot. haha. the thing is, last time i chatted with T . it wasnt really comfortable la then A came to the rescue (not literally,) like virtually, like A was suddenly on;ine and the whole time chatting wit A was like consolation prize. like compensating the chatting moment i had with T. hehe. so.. yeah, like the above tajuk, revisit to the memory lane. and yeah. again? like duh. rite. hehe

im so effing worried rite now. but being such a sore loser i am, i dont do anything.  ni sume pasal keje la nih.. huhu

hey, dun u think its scary?
the fact that ppl are all moving forward... while im here stuck in reverse.
takuuttt nyee....
wat if i;ll be like wat i am rite now in a loOng time.
or the worst, forever. aaaa takut!!!

u know wat, sometimes i wish i cud be more like the latest novel from sophie kinsella. the girl suddenly woke up of a comma, and only to found out later that her life is actually almost perfect lah kan, she olredi got a husband, and a stable job. wooh. bes kan? tak payah pening2.

ya of course apparently dlm cite uh die ilang ingatan..like 2 years of her life die lupe..hm.

spiking of being scared.

lotsa things im very scared rite now.

to name a few,
on the emotional side..
im scared of the fact that falling in luv will hurt me
im scared if i again, fall for the wrong guy
im scared if i kawen lambat :s
im scared if i end up being alone.
im scared if i happen to like a guy, he doesnt feel the same way i do towards him.

hm.
hey do u think i ever hv any single thing that wud make a guy likes me?
hahahahahha gile pathetic punye question kannnnnnnn?!!! blergh :p
well MAYBE la i think i hv 1 or 2 reasons for a guy to like me.. but wud that suffice?
will it be the same reason we'll be staying in luv?
or wud it only be the reason we'll be parting in the future?

tu la. isnt it petrifying?
i think being in luv is more like gambling.
whether u re in pure luck,
or u are capable of playing ur cards right.
the thing u need is courage. oh  and oso confidence
yes. of all things, these 2 i am very lacking of.

story of my life :)

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MEMILIKI KEHILANGAN
- Letto

tak mampu melepasnya walau sudah tak ada

hatimu tetap merasa masih memilikinya

rasa kehilangan hanya akan ada

jika kau pernah merasa memilikinya

pernahkah kau mengira kalau dia kan sirna

walau kau tak percaya dengan sepenuh jiwa

rasa kehilangan hanya akan ada

jika kau pernah merasa memilikinya

pernahkah kau mengira kalau dia kan sirna

walau kau tak percaya dengan sepenuh jiwa

rasa kehilangan hanya akan ada

jika kau pernah merasa memilikinya

the lyrics so jiwang all right. but so true. T_T
oh ok, so now this is a pathetic sad all mourn kinda blog
lantak la ye. haha

nway found the lyrics from err i believe its my long distance cousin's blog.

Letto - memiliki kehilangan

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wud suffice as the first entry for my mr. blog #2. u see i hv mr.blog#1 and now, talkabout infidelity, here comes mr.blog#2 :p

yes, its me ranting, blabbing without any certain specific purpose watsoever.

i just feel like wanting to have another blog where ppl wudnt read and if they do, well.. i dunno. shud i feel embarassed then? bcos of wat? of my stupidity? or of my shallow-minded ness? (is there such a word anyway?)
of course i should. but watdaheck, here i hide my true self, and i stress on my anonymity.

but

it feels weird. like truly:
i really dont understand human. me, specifically.
a part of me wants to hv a new blog where i can blab all i want, another small part of me wants it to be read by my regular readers (i can say i do hv some tau, jgn memain) at my mr.blog#1.

ok so watever.

as far as im concern this blog will be personal. like rreeaally personal.

so here's how personal this blog can be: u see when u enter into my personal world, u hv to know there's always Mr.A, who's heart been crushed by my .. well i wont say stupidity, but rather ignorance? or is it insensitive? hm or mayb just plain stupidity. ketidaktahuan. kealpaan? u decide. wait. is there any 'u' ? hehe watever.

then this Mr.A story has been history like since FOREVER. yes. THAT long ago. i shudnt be bothered like the way i stil do rite now. but then again there's no interesting story bout Mr.A anymore. but just to let u know, that there's always a part of this blog where all things wud go back to Mr.A. hm.

that aside.

i think i'd like to share my ideas here.
of love, of life.
not that i know many of , but stil, its always nice to write something u thought u know about and after 2-3 years later only to find out that twas so .. little, or.. . hm ape2lah.

the idea is, mayb if i think sum of my selebet ideas/writings ni mcm ok jek, i'll bring it up kat my mr.blog#1.
ish panjang la name blog2 aku ni. so shotform je la from now on k. MB1(mr.blog#1), MB2(Mr.Blog#2).

there goes
my 1st entry.
hihi
will write sum more later :)

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